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i like being interrupted

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i like being interrupted

there ain’t just one way to do things y’all and that includes chit chat

Josie Peters
May 30, 2023
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i like being interrupted

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From a young age we all (…right? or just me?) get told to talk in certain way. By family, teachers or even adults who overheard you once as a child. Use small talk. Make eye contact. Take turns asking questions. Don’t interrupt. But the truth is, this is just one way to communicate that works for a subset of people and it’s not natural or enjoyable for everyone.

It was only since starting my DPhil here in Oxford that I met friends who told me about the fact that different conversational styles exist. Once I started learning about my personal neurodivergent soup of ADHD and autism it hammered it home even more clearly, as things that I thought I had done that were ‘wrong’ were something that actually a lot of people did

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. I’d scold myself for my interruptions! (Even though they came from a positive place of enthusiasm) Or berate myself for trying to relate to people by sharing a similar experience, because from the view of someone who didn’t do that behaviour, it looked as if I was making things about me. Neurodivergent people may see these differences more starkly, as interrupting or monologuing can be diagnostic criteria, but conversational styles are useful for everyone.

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It’s made me realise why I find it easier to talk to some people over others, has given me a bit of permission to feel freer to be myself (when I meet other interrupters I can really let my guard down) and helped me understand what other people might need for a conversation to go well .

Talking to a friendly recently, we were speaking in these analogies and it seemed like a useful thing to communicate - so here is a comic about a few things we noticed!

NOTEs:

  • I am a Dr of galaxies not psychology, so these are musings based and not researched.

  • The following is on ye olde social media - so if you’ve seen it before, there’s a lucky bonus at the end. ✌️

If you’re interested in more, read the wise Adam Mastroianni’s Good conversations have lots of doorknobs . A book I’ve been recommended on conversational styles is That’s Not What I Meant! By Deborah Tannen.

As promised, here is your bonus:

I cannot be held accountable for any ABBA related nightmares.

over and out,

josie p x

p.s.

  • tickets for the next Shit Art Club at the Bristol Improv Theatre are available for 1:30pm and 3pm on 24 June

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This study showed that autistic people communicate as well with one another as neurotypicals do, but when you mix the groups communication goes down (which is quite satisfying seeing as a lot of the autistic diagnostic criteria is how inept you are at socialising, but some of this may just be that it’s hard mixing styles.)

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i like being interrupted

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i like being interrupted

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Laura Haapio-Kirk
Writes Drawing Humans
Sep 20Liked by Josie Peters

And here was me worrying about overenthusiastically interrupting you last night 😅 I was so excited to meet a fellow phd-turned-illustrator!

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